The answer is bad systems
Last week I hopped on a 6 a.m. flight and hauled two suitcases with my life belongings across the country, which is why you didn’t hear from me for a bit. I’ve been getting settled in a very nice but humid city and using the move as a chance to radically redefine aspects of my life that need updating, which includes my relationship with tech/social media.
During the week before the move, I fell off. I spent my nights laying in bed intermittently switching between Instagram, Twitter and TikTok and ignoring the mixture of dread and nervous excitement that had been slowly creeping up throughout the week. The cognitive dissonance was crazy uncomfortable. I knew I was avoiding feeling my feelings. I knew when I’d crossed the threshold of mindful consumption. Yet, I scrolled.
The night before I moved I had a three hour scroll-fest, by the end of which I was uniquely fed up. I don’t believe in cold turkey, but I also know when something has run its course. I realized I’d have to go app-less on my phone, at least for a little bit — you don’t wave a pack of Marlboros in front of someone trying to quit cigarettes. When I woke up the next morning, within the first five minutes my thumbs were groggily searching for a quick Instagram story update. I had forgotten I deleted my apps.
I may not have done the best at keeping a healthy social balance last week, but I did fill a lot of my online time with research. I watched this Ted Talk from Kevin Slavin on algorithms, which was really helpful in understanding what algorithms actually are. I had asked my Silicon Valley tech dad earlier but he started talking about sin and cosine, soI had to ask him to stop before I started involuntarily reliving high school math class.
I followed the Kevin Slavin rabbit hole a little deeper and saw that he worked with MIT on Playful Systems, aka story-focused systems seeking to delight. I’m fascinated by the idea of a system that subverts tradition, though I don’t know much about them. (I tried to borrow a copy of Thinking in Systems by Donella Meadows to learn more about their application in human lives. Unfortunately, there are currently 17+ people ahead of me in two different states). The purpose of sharing this is to let you know that the following is based on a rudimentary, Youtube University understanding of systems thinking, but I think the insights still hold true.
Systems thinking immediately makes me think about social media. The ones that Silicon Valley companies have created to get us on there are invisible, efficient and near-perfect. It makes it hard to get off and to counter it, I’ve been trying to create my own near-perfect system alternative.
But here’s a thought. What if I am looking at this the wrong way? What if the goal is not to create the perfect alternative system but rather hijack the existing one to create a bad system?
So I flipped the core idea on its head and instead began to optimize for inefficiency. I changed my Instagram password to an un-rememberable string of random characters and didn’t save my login information. I wrote down the password so I have to get my journal each time I want to login on my phone again. I committed to checking Instagram on my laptop. To check TikTok, I redownload the app and delete it again. I already use Twitter for web which is clunky, slow and a huge pain in the ass (thanks, Elon)!
Yes, all of this is super annoying. It also works.
In the week since, I’ve noticed a couple things have shifted within me. Here’s what changed:
When I’m on social media now, I’m more mindful. Have you ever taken the time to scroll through Instagram.com on your laptop? And, like, really watch each story? It’s impossible to get through all. I sample them now, only clicking on the stories that are recent or from people I care about.
I actually read the links. Historically, I click story links when there’s a high-stress, polarizing catalyst event or if something is super attention grabbing. I checked out a friend's link that I normally would have skipped. I read through it thoughtfully, probably with the most care I’ve been able to give in a while. I thanked her afterwards.
I’m not addicted to TikTok anymore. This one feels good. Deleting the app but keeping designated TT time helped a lot with this. I also came across this one video that gave me a fun assignment that was very ReCognition summer coded. Try it.
I freaked out about my privacy. The amount of information about myself I had online started to feel overwhelming. No one can process that much. I want my target audience to see me (friends, potential friends, romantic prospects) but matter how hard I try, I will still only exist as a fragment on the internet and no volume of information sharing online can change that. But it can go to the wrong people (creeps) and they might feel like they really know me… the idea of that freaked me out and I’m still grappling with it.
Photobooth is sexy again. I haven’t been able to post on my close friends story, so I’ve taken to recording photobooth video diaries in which I divulge wins and frustrations. Inspired by my brilliant friend Kerri who I stole the idea from.
Last time, I said I’d write about algorithms and childhood exploration — sorry, only had one in me this week! But I will note, a huge part of my success in desocialmediaification comes from the fact that I implemented the bad systems approach while I was super busy with getting my life set up in a new city. In the future I may return to the idea of childhood exploration as a creative schedule gap filler.
Let me know your thoughts and if you try out any of these strategies. As always, happy living!
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