The Gospel According to Anderson

Personal Philosophy

Do what you want. Hurt no one, but accept that you will eventually disappoint everyone, and it is OK. Make meaning out of everything. Dance as often as possible. Only use kind words to describe yourself and others. Listen more. Nurture your inner child. Forgive everyone, starting with yourself. Let the past go and leave the future to your older self.

Love Life

The point of life is to love and be loved. Here are some tips I use to keep my love life flowing and abundant.

• No one changes unless they want to. Likewise, don’t change yourself for anyone else, unless what they ask sincerely aligns with your values and best self.

• Treat your partner’s body as a world-class exhibit at a museum. Be curious, be gentle, pay attention to the details. Express awe. Not interested in what you see? Walk away.

• Accept that you are not just dating another person; you’re integrating with their family, their friends, their schedule, and their ideals.

• Talk as much as possible. Talk about what you’re afraid of. Talk about your insecurities and worries. Talk about your past and your future.

• Relationships are power dynamics, but they don’t have to be a struggle. Relinquish more than you retain.

• Don’t ever say anything you don’t mean, whether this is out of anger, fear, frustration, etc. A silence can be clarified. Words can’t be unsaid.

• Take pictures of your lovers. Take pictures with them. Ask strangers to take pictures of you together.

• Love yourself before anyone else.

Aesthetics

Contacts in overnight and on through the next day. Bags under the eyes from living so much. Too much jewelry. Generous laughter. Sincere emotional expression, good and bad. Neon lights in the bedroom. Polaroids and folded love letters in the wallet. Skin showing, bravely. Coasters around the house lifted from restaurants. Indulgence and moderation back and forth like a rollercoaster. Film photos. Convalescence. Sunglasses in the club. Small notebook and red pen in the pocket to quote the world. Repeating outfits. Physical photo albums with dates written on the back of the pics. Everything on the G Cal; time scheduled to do nothing. Smudged eyeliner. Asymmetrical piercing(s). Tattoos no one can see. Sharp teeth. An awareness of abundance.

Music is how we decorate time. Art is how we decorate space. Look around: how well have you customized your life?

Beauty is in…

• …the personal: Keep a mirror near your desk or workspace. Watch your posture. Smile at yourself. Get comfortable with your image. Dance in front of the mirror and watch how you occupy your body. Let yourself take up space. Then take up more. You’re not beautiful because of how you look. You look how you do because you are beautiful.

• …the mundane: Or, how to romanticize everything. You don’t have to love where you are in life, but you do have to accept it. For now. Imagine losing a sense tomorrow; smell, taste, touch, vision. What would you miss? What do you take for granted? Plenty of pleasant sensations lead to a plentiful life. Take photos of what draws your eye and don’t show anyone.

• …the other: Analyze what you find beautiful in other people. Seek out intelligent, charismatic, empathetic folks. How can you be more like them? Ask more questions. Compliment as often as possible. Be sincere. Learn from everyone.

Lifestyle

• Use social media as little as possible. Even and especially if it is a source of income for you. Cut it out of your personal time. Turn off notifications. If you feel FOMO, is it the addictive urge you miss, or the actual feeling of connection and knowledge building?

• Your life is yours to live. This isn’t a refusal of devotion to others – this is an affirmation of the importance of yourself. The best thing you can bring to any relationship is a healed soul and a full heart.

• Strive for having no enemies and no hatred in your heart. Remove the negative from your life and focus on the positive.

• Stop letting your fears get in the way. It doesn’t feel that easy but it is. You can do everything you want and still be nervous. The nerves go away with love and safe practice. If you fuck up, OK. Try again.

• Drink more water. Drink less soda. Wash your face. Take more baths.

• You won’t be ready until you decide you are. The world is waiting for you to change it.

, Anderson